Friendship in Norway

Why is it hard to be social in a nordic country?

I believe its a commonly spread idea that all scandinavian are less social and it’s hard to make friendships in these countries. But when you travel to any of them you find that people are actually very friendly and helpfull..and c’mon, everyone speaks english with you, without any problems.

So where does this mith come from?

From my experience living in Norway for 4 years, both things are real. Nordics are friendly but it is still hard to make friends. And most of my close friends here are actually…drumrolls…foreigners. From of course, portuguese, to brasilian, mexican, croatian, etc, so not only my own countryman.

Why?

I believe there are two things that create a gap in friendships here. This does not apply to everyone, but in a general way from my own experience. First is contact. Nordics aren’t fond of physical contact. You should see people’s faces when I first moved and would greet everyone with two kisses on the cheecks. Priceless looks of horror. They like their personal space. But when you make a one on on one coffee date with a friend and you don’t even greet them it creates a initial gap between the two of you. I think it reflects on the rest of the relationship. Another thing I can see diferent between my backhome friends and foreigner friends and my norwegian friends is openness. We latin speak a lot! About anything and everything but mostly about our lives and other people’s lives (Yeah go read Sapiens by Yuval Noah Harari and you will understand how gossip is the driving force in creating society bonds). People here don’t share many personal things, they don’t talk about problems with their mothers, sex issues with boyfriends, the coworker that drives them insane (ok maybe that they do), but you see my point.

Society creates them to think things should not be shared as you don’t want to show your insecurities, where you are failling in life, your weakness. But that is life, we are all going through things, we all know people that went through the same and that an be helpfull. Sharing is caring, in all aspects. Friendships are less deep here because they miss that. Its not about sharing the bad things its about opening yourself to others, both physically and emmotionally.

This is my take on it. Whats yours? Do you live in a foreigner country? Share your esperiences 🙂